' To friends of yesterday, today and tomorrow.

For those of you who haven't heard today is International Friendship day. I have always struggled to define that word, its just impossible to give it a meaning and confine it to that. A famous quote goes 'Friends are the family you get to choose" as corny and cliche that sounds that's the only thing i can think of that comes close.

Its beyond just hanging out and eating at a new place every other week, Its wayy more.
Its a blessing to have friends. I can proudly acknowledge the fact that i won't be a major part of who i am today if it had not been for my friends.

As we move on with our lives and careers, we sometimes also move on from certain friendships, but that doesn't always change the role they once played in your life.

I have all kinds of friends, the ones we are close with for as long as we can remember.. i have people i have been friends with since i was like 3.. and our relationships have only evolved and gotten more awesome'r over the years. And then there are the school friends,, you can never get over them can you? I'm not in touch with all of them, but when ever i do meet up like even if its once a year, we just take it from where we left off. The gap is never felt. Is it like that with everyone out there? I don't know, but i love how beautiful it is.

And then there are people you just met and you become soul mates in a week. The similarity or disparity whatever facilitates the relationship is so crazy? (<- Read that again slowly). You just meet them and hit it off right from the first time and your soon inseparable.

Then there are others you are close to, lose contact for like 3 or 4 years in between and get together again. I have a few friends like that too. Its insane.. we spent so much time just catching up on the lost years.

And then there are others who randomly bump into us every once in a while.. We were never close to them and probably never will be too.. But they are still quite cherished.

I could go on like this forever. Sometimes my friends have come through for me the moments i have least expected them to. And there are also time i have been let down and really hurt by friends.. but i guess that just adds to the beauty of the whole relationship.

In my big move from college to the corporate world one of the things i missed most were my friends.. but things have been amazing ever since i stopped acting like the newbie to whom people need to come talk to and walked up to talk to people on my own.

So this is a post to all those people i have called a friend over the very many years through school, college and other phases. I would give you a all a hug if i could.

This is also to the friends I'm gonna make in the future. Because i strongly believe you never stop needing friends.

Thank you and I love you all and oh yes before i start babbling again, a very happy friendship day.

Ps: The title of this post is so lame. But honestly, i have a block and can't think of anything else.

'To life in all its real glory :)

Hello Blog world!

I've been MIA and it was quite intentional. I'm going through like a weird phase in life.. Its been a mixture of high's and lows. Lets start with the high's, shall we?

I got my first job. Its the second interview i sat for and after like a long wait, with the whole process sprawled  over like a month i finally got it :D
Its a job in my line of interest and study and oh so exciting! I start end of this month, on the 30th of june.. and i'm super excited, i can't wait to get started!

In the meanwhile my boat's been tossing and turning in this journey called life.. I seem to be stuck in a storm that's refusing to pass. There were moments my boat almost toppled, there were also moments i thought the storm has almost passed.. But here i am back at the heart of it.

The emotions and feelings are overwhelming! I feel so weak and vulnerable at the same time strong and determined. I wanna build walls and not let anyone in, yet i'm waiting for that one person to forcefully make their way in and break my walls. I wanna stop believing in a lot of things, at the same time i want someone who gives me no choice but believe.

Is this even normal? Is this how growing up is gonna feel? i don't know. But nobody can really give you answers to these questions.. i don't think people even understand exactly. The answers lie within and nobody gets you like you do. Its a crazy crazy complicated life :)

I just wanna stop feeling so restless and i don't know..

In the midst of all this, i had a tiny vacation to this beautiful place called coorg.

Here are a few grainy pictures i clicked!

It was such e refreshing break from the hustle and bustle of my city life!

Have a grand week ya'll :)

To each, his own.

I don't really feel like writing today, so i'm just gonna go ahead and upload a butt load of pictures to show you all i have been upto! Go ahead and draw your own conclusions from it..

A picture can sometimes say wayy more than words can. :)

A girl i know - Her side of the story.

I was once this girl who thought she was strong, didn't need anyone and lived in a small bubble. I was like a frog in the well, my world was the people around me, and i was content with the little i had in life.

I never wanted to get married, and i went around telling people i'm gonna live rich and live alone.

And then came the twist in the plot. He walked in, made me fight for everything i believed showed me a glimpse of how much more i could have and i fell in love.

The same girl who was content, knew what she could get, she wanted more. She wanted to get married someday, make babies.. Build a house and maybe even give up her career for her family.

I was now the girl that built castles in air. From the wedding dress, to the kinda house (down to the detail of number of rooms) the guests to be invited, everything was planned.

Then, this guy i now considered "mine" helped another girl get a glimpse of what she should have  just like he did with me. And guess what? She fell for him too (No surprise there. HE'S HOT!)

The only difference this time was he didn't want to reject this girl right away, because she was beautiful both inside and out. He said she deserved better, and there was no way i could not disagree with that.

But it hurt, to hear him talk of pleasing another girl. To hear him think and consider her pierced my heart. First it was overwhelming sadness, then frustration, and then anger and finally self destruction. I tore down all the dreams i built.

I passed every fantasy, every dream through a shredder. I was in that mode till there was nothing left to lose. It was satisfying and painful both at once. Most of all it was cruel to him. Because he built all those castles with me too.

I sometimes honestly wish i had a normal guy and a normal relationship, but then in the same breath i am fully aware that i would have ever fallen in love with him if he was "normal". And i would never trade "being in love" for anything.

So right now he's forgiven me for going into self destruct and almost destroying us, but he's not forgotten it.

We still have a lot of healing to do. We are not who we used to be, and it scares me, because now what we have anybody can have. What we had then, was magical. The other woman in love with him is still around, its just there. We are not tossing and poking that boat anywhere around for now.

He knows i love him. Both he and i both know she likes him more than a friend still too. Everything is out on the table, no under currents, no hidden feelings.

Isn't the truth supposed to make things easier? From when the truth about her feelings was out, its only been a downhill.

I have a knot in my throat as i type this, and its threatening to spill out through my eyes. I wish there was a solution to this. A solution where no one got hurt. But we haven't gotten that smart yet.

Young love.. Can't live with it, can't live without.

Love,
Lonfused girl.

The Eye.

So I'm finally done with college, i don't know how to feel about that.. Its a mixed feeling of relief of finally being done, coupled with excitement to start a completely new phase with a dash of fear because of so much uncertainty that the future holds.

My decision to stay happy where and no matter how or no matter what, is going quite well as long as i'm occupied. I'm in day four of my break and i have had quite a productive week.

Currently my latest obsession is Ms paint, and i sit hours on it drawing whatever comes to my mind. Here is a sneak peak :P

This one is totally random, it was done for a friend who inspired it. But i'm quite proud of it even if this friend didn't think much of it ^-^

So basically i'm just blogging and instagram'ming away just to show this off!

I dunno what to do next! Anybody have any inspiration for me? nothing? Ok.

I have this vague idea about what i wanna do next, ill shall be back soon with the finished product, until then.. blow your minds out with this one. (Am i making any sense anymore?)

I'm calling this "The Eye".. How creative, right.

I think ill title my post that! o.o
Yes, i title my post after i write. Problem anyone? No? Good.

7 Things To Do When In Solitude.

Why would someone be in self exile? I don't know! But time alone only almost always helps, you may find a side of you that you didn't know existed!

I sat in a self imposed solitude for about two days because i felt i was swearing too much, i didn't like it! Its just not me, so it had to cleaned out, alone. And it definitely helped. I have more self control than i imagined :P

More seriously, lets get started, shall we :)

1. THROW THE PHONE AWAY.

Trust me, nothing makes you wanna run from your decision like your phone! It'll all be smooth at first, your just scrolling around on Facebook, and then you come to whatsapp, your reading everyone's status and then you see that name.. And you feel this urgent need to text or call, and it won't go away even with a random distraction. So if you wanna do this, throw away your phone.

2. Be occupied.

They don't call the idle mind a devil's workshop for nothing. Do something, ANYTHING. Read a book, go shopping, study, play a sport!

3. Learn something New:

You have all the time in the world and you live in the Google era. Learn something new, like cook something you've always wanted to try, or try to make a hat! You get the idea, right?

4. Clean your room:

I know this sounds cliche but you'll have to agree with me on this one. If your someone like me then you've used the lack of time excuse wayy too many times.. So do it now. And you never know, you may find something you had forgotten about and it'll keep you occupied for hours!

5. Look at pictures:

This should probably be number one on my list :)
You won't hear or mind the clock ticking on this one. The older the better. Its wierd how even after so many years pictures have that grip on you.

6. If you have absolutely nothing to do get on the internet!

There is a ocean of stuff in here that will keep you hooked. So just this other day, i was doing random browsing and landed up on this page. If you lived in a ignorant bubble like me and have no clue what Humans of New York is, your missing out on something crazy! The pictures and story, it just makes you think how often you've been so judgmental. How many times have we stopped to think of what could be the story of someone you just passed on the street. Even the brightest smile has a story behind it. It kinda made me think of my perspective of things. Its beautiful, check it out :)
Its almost a week since i found it, and im still hooked!

7. Do that ONE thing:

Don't we all have that ONE thing we keep pushing at the back of our head. Something we ALWAYS wanted to do but never found the time or motivation to. What's yours? Is it getting a new book of your favorite author? Is it a misunderstanding you needed to clear with an old friend? Or is it something as simple as finding a gym and enrolling :)

Find your thing and do it :)

Anybody else feel lazy today?

Yday was hectic! After another draining day, esp mentally.. i come home and crash early, with no intention of waking up anywhere before 9.

So, today Tuesday i have a day off from college because they are celebrating something or whatever. So i open my eyes and its 7:50 am.. not wanting to be so harsh on myself, i roll over and go back to sleep only to be woken up a good two hours later with my phone blaring ridiculously near my ear! Before i could grope around and try finding it with one eye open, it stops.. so i give up turn the other way round and go back to sleep.. then i get up 15 mins later, find my evasive phone.. set an alarm for 11 am (I gave myself 13 mins, to be exact) and fall back asleep.. after two times of snoozing and cursing my phone a numerous times.. i wake up and drag my feet toward the bathroom.. only to be distracted by what my sister was watching!

So i realize she's watching castle, so i forget all my morning duties and sit there.. we watch three episodes (approximately 3 very short hours) i had to fight and bribe for her to pause twice, once for my bathroom break and then for my foooooood.. which was basicallyy a huge packet of mad angles and packet of oreos.

All that done, i realize the noises i hear are from my stomach and make myself a humongous bowl of noodles. and once i'm done eating i go to my balcony and watch this beautiful sudden downpour of rain, talk in high pitch, do a happy dance, argue about the origin of rainbows..

and when i finally had enough off all the childish talk, i open my laptop to give a project im working on, my much needed attention, and guess WHAT! I feel this crazy intense need to check out the clothes worn by EVERYONE at the Oscars.. so for the next hour or so, i proceeded to check every picture that was clicked on that day and every article written about everyone possible. Once i was done, i logged in here, read a few random posts and felt the need to type everything down about my utterly wasted unproductive day.

Though i prefer to call it a break i much needed  wanted :)

Is it just me or does everyone have days like this in the middle of real hectic week? :)

Okay, gotta go start studying before anything else catches my eye!

Until next time :)

He loves me, he loves me not.

That was what was running in the girl's head. She could not believe she was even having doubts like that! They have been together for like 3 years.. And now was just not the time to think of it. But yet here she was.

After every text she typed and deleted, after every line she rephrased.. All she could think of was, that.
Weren't things supposed to get easier?
People supposed to mature with time. Why did everything feel like it was happening backyards with her. Why did she feel like things were so much easier for them two years ago. Weren't people supposed to understand you better with time?

And what was he saying? He didn't want her worry bout him or care about him? Is that even possible?
Isn't that kinda impossible when your in love.
Like is there a magnetic force that helps you do that?







[The photograph belongs to an amazing photographer, who also happens to be a very close friend. Its so beautiful, is'nt it?
Anyhoo, anyone need a photographer, to capture just about anything, contact: coach.ms13@gmail.com I assure you, there is no room for disappointment]

As she lay on her belly, staring intently into the blank wall infront of her, she could not help but think if he had someone else in mind, or if he got tired of her, or did he just want to be single and "free" like he called it that day.. But she could also help but feel guilty and horrible bout doubting him or his love.

He was a part of her.. To hurt her, he would have to go through the pain equally.. She told herself, so sane person will hurt themselves.. And yet she had that tiny weeny doubt at the back of her head.. A doubt she was afraid to say out loud.. Is this the shore of the river of pain?

Are these its water that wash over her toes every other min. Is this the point where she has to run away or will she have to fight the tide to stay afloat.

Will it be worth it?

Its a fight she has to fight alone, and the answer will come only if the battle's won.

LOSING IT.

What am i talking about losing? Dignity. YES, you heard me alright!
Soo, this happend the other day, on my way to college and ijust HAD TO share it :)

Those of you who have been to India or live here, you know what its like to travel by a public bus.I can't decide if its more annoying of funn! So first of the bus i travel in, looks like this..

On a regular day to college it kinda looks like this on the outside!

and like this on the inside..

So when you travel in it, with the amazing pot hole filled roads we have here.. you have to end up holding on to dear life.. and you dont really care, what or how your holding it.
And that is exactly where your dignity goes for a toss.

I find myself in positions like this.

I could go on all nightt.. but its so crazy annoying to look for pictures.. and find nothing relevent! Anyway, soo that's how it looks, even worse sometimes. I look like everything from a dancer in a bar, to a frightened cat.

Its fun, and even more hilarious to watch people sliding and slipping around every time, the driver hits the pedals too hard! Travelling in a bus in India should be on everyone's bucket list! It'll be a experience that'll never be forgotten.

I hope the world herer is still skipping around happily.. I know its a vday and a whole lot more since i got here! We so need more than one day to show love! But its amazing to get on here and read about all the wonderful dates, successful proposals and the many flowers and chocolates!

A precious friend told me this sunday "I felt like falling in love this valentines day".. Don't we all :)

DISCLAIMER: The pictures used are for representative use only.. and do not belong to me or anyone I know! I do not claim any kind of ownership or rights over them, they belong to their rightful owners.

My Day Out.

How long has it been since i first got here? I really dunno. Well, i've come on here a couple of times in just this past week alone.. written a line.. stared at the screen till no end, logged out and continued with life.

I don't know what to write about, i don't know if i feel like writing too. My days are getting better.. but life is still being a scramble. Between looking up colleges, different options of study, applying for jobs and checking out companies.. I'm surprisingly having quite a lot, okay maybe not lot.. but I'm having fun.

Okay, for those of you who remember i live in Hyderabad.. we have this huge big industrial every January that i used to go to ever since i was a kid. It was like a tradition in my family. So this year, out of the blue i decided i needed to do it, and i did. And was it as fun as it usually is? HELL YES.

[An amazing photographer friend let me use these beautiful pictures that were clicked that day. Are they the coolest or WHAT?]

I went with some really good friends..  the first we do when we enter after the regular security check, and me mumbling about how meaningless it is, is buy popcorn and walk around and just take everything in. Four odd years didn't change a thing.

                                       [That's kinda how i looked, feeling all pleased with myself]

and then, the walked continued with occasional halts to point and laugh at someone or something or it just ended in one of us buying something totally random.

And then we spotted this,

and just had to buy it even though i was pretty full alreadyy.. so we did and i was supposed to wait till we find a found a good spot to click, but i didn't, so i don't have a picture with cotton candy now :(

Sooo we kept walking till we arrived at the one place i was searching for right from the moment i entered.

okay, so the picture might be a slight over exaggeration.. But it was insane fun.. we first went on the Giant wheel, they call it that for all the right reasons.. after i had done screaming and begging everyone to stop it,  as i waked out i thought the worse is over..

But for some weird reason i was wrong. I used my two legs to go to this..

and buy tickets for thiss..

And i still cant decide if it was the best or worst part, okay fine, who am i kidding, IT WAS SOOO MUCH FUN!!.. This picture doesn't even come close. It was insane, the rush was something else. Honestly? 90% of the time i was on it, i was thinking its too early to die, im like not even married yet  i haven't eaten frogs yet or something. I was screaming the whole time it was mostly "OH MY GOD" in different tones and pitches.. and a few other things I'm hoping no one else heard.

well, i came back home with an amazing pair of shoes and a bag full of memories. It was my day out, something i needed and it was all and more i expected it to be.

[DISCLAIMER: I do not claim ownership to pictures 2,3,4,6. They belong to their rightful owners and are used only as a representation here.]

Metamorphosis

That's quite a big word spell :P
Basically, change. That's what it literally means to me. In this ever changing crazy amazing sometimes, depressing life of mine.. there is so much change happening. I'm metamorphosing. I know that this term is generally used to indicate growth and positive development in animals.. i'm using it in a different sense today. 

There is so much happening i'm just like "Hey! Not so fast, life! I need a min to breathe" or something! Its insane how much a year old can take in a day.. Honestly, i'm left panting and puffing at the end of each day. 

And i hate it. You ask, why? Because i hate not being in control, esp when it comes to my life. I have/had everything planned.. and some little thing decides to take a detour.. annnddd there comes crashing down my whole properly thought of life plan.

Its hard.

But it has taught me so much. You know what i feel? Everyone should go through one life altering mess.. why? Because this is where you see whom you can actually trust. this is the point in my life where i saw who can put aside everything and be there, by everything i don't just mean one evening or one day literally everything.

This is the place i saw the people who cared, but were too busy to do anything about it. And can i be real honest? it hurt so freaking much. As much i would like to say i don't really care, and it doesn't matter.. i just can't. Because it mattered

You know what i needed most in my weakest moment? Not someone who told me i'm strong enough to get through this.. but just one person to tell me they'll hold my hand and go through this with me. One person to tell me they'll be right there to give me a push when i felt like giving up.

And forever grateful to Have not one but quite a few people around to help me. But i got help from sources unexpected. The people i always thought will come through to me showed me the door.. and that was hard to accept.

Anyway, lesson learnt, tears dried :)

OKAY, too much serious talk! Wanna hear something yum? Today is PIE DAY! :D

Exactly! put your aprons on, or at least call a baker friend and get yourself a yummy piece of pie todaay to celebrate :D

Hug one, Hug all.

For someone who loves hugs, this is just another reason to keep hugging :D

Who doesn't want a boost to their immune system, now :)

Its time, Christmas is here :)

I'm back, after being MIA for quite a while.. Andd I've had quite a busy week, lots of changes. I mean, c'mon! who isn't busy this season.. The season of joy is FINALLYY getting to me, i must say! I'm jollier than usual :P

And i just realized my spell check does not have a "ignore" here o.o. So finally this week, we got our little tree up, and the stars too :D

                                                         [That's the pretty star :)]

And, i had birthdays in the fam that kept me busy. Anyway. even though suddenly time seems to be flying so fast, life hasn't stopped teaching. SO much to learn and eat everyday.

Im pushing my studies, search for colleges and everything else on the back burner for this week. I think its that time of the year, everyone needs to take it slow, and soak in the love and that's exactly what i plan on doing :D

So what's new with you this season?

Something Beautiful!

I was studying for an upcoming exam, and i read about something i didn't know existed. I Googled it and it just HAD TO go on my long term bucket list!

The northern lights and the southern lights. Don't believe me follow the link! It'll blow your freaking mind away.. The beauty made my stomach do a spin. Its beyond breath taking and spell bounding.

                                           [Two of my favorite Northern Lights pictures]

These are natural light displays in the sky particularly in the high latitude (Arctic and Antarctic) regions, caused by the collision of energetic charged particles with atoms in the high altitude atmosphere (thermosphere).

                                           [Two of my favorite southern Lights pictures]

Its southern counterpart, the southern lights, has features that are almost identical to the aurora borealis and changes simultaneously with changes in the northern auroral zone. It is visible from high southern latitudes in Antarctica, South America, New Zealand, and Australia.

I still cant believe this all purely natural and untouched my man. Soooo freaking beautiful!