A girl i know - Her side of the story.

I was once this girl who thought she was strong, didn't need anyone and lived in a small bubble. I was like a frog in the well, my world was the people around me, and i was content with the little i had in life.

I never wanted to get married, and i went around telling people i'm gonna live rich and live alone.

And then came the twist in the plot. He walked in, made me fight for everything i believed showed me a glimpse of how much more i could have and i fell in love.

The same girl who was content, knew what she could get, she wanted more. She wanted to get married someday, make babies.. Build a house and maybe even give up her career for her family.

I was now the girl that built castles in air. From the wedding dress, to the kinda house (down to the detail of number of rooms) the guests to be invited, everything was planned.

Then, this guy i now considered "mine" helped another girl get a glimpse of what she should have  just like he did with me. And guess what? She fell for him too (No surprise there. HE'S HOT!)

The only difference this time was he didn't want to reject this girl right away, because she was beautiful both inside and out. He said she deserved better, and there was no way i could not disagree with that.

But it hurt, to hear him talk of pleasing another girl. To hear him think and consider her pierced my heart. First it was overwhelming sadness, then frustration, and then anger and finally self destruction. I tore down all the dreams i built.

I passed every fantasy, every dream through a shredder. I was in that mode till there was nothing left to lose. It was satisfying and painful both at once. Most of all it was cruel to him. Because he built all those castles with me too.

I sometimes honestly wish i had a normal guy and a normal relationship, but then in the same breath i am fully aware that i would have ever fallen in love with him if he was "normal". And i would never trade "being in love" for anything.

So right now he's forgiven me for going into self destruct and almost destroying us, but he's not forgotten it.

We still have a lot of healing to do. We are not who we used to be, and it scares me, because now what we have anybody can have. What we had then, was magical. The other woman in love with him is still around, its just there. We are not tossing and poking that boat anywhere around for now.

He knows i love him. Both he and i both know she likes him more than a friend still too. Everything is out on the table, no under currents, no hidden feelings.

Isn't the truth supposed to make things easier? From when the truth about her feelings was out, its only been a downhill.

I have a knot in my throat as i type this, and its threatening to spill out through my eyes. I wish there was a solution to this. A solution where no one got hurt. But we haven't gotten that smart yet.

Young love.. Can't live with it, can't live without.

Love,
Lonfused girl.

The Eye.

So I'm finally done with college, i don't know how to feel about that.. Its a mixed feeling of relief of finally being done, coupled with excitement to start a completely new phase with a dash of fear because of so much uncertainty that the future holds.

My decision to stay happy where and no matter how or no matter what, is going quite well as long as i'm occupied. I'm in day four of my break and i have had quite a productive week.

Currently my latest obsession is Ms paint, and i sit hours on it drawing whatever comes to my mind. Here is a sneak peak :P

This one is totally random, it was done for a friend who inspired it. But i'm quite proud of it even if this friend didn't think much of it ^-^

So basically i'm just blogging and instagram'ming away just to show this off!

I dunno what to do next! Anybody have any inspiration for me? nothing? Ok.

I have this vague idea about what i wanna do next, ill shall be back soon with the finished product, until then.. blow your minds out with this one. (Am i making any sense anymore?)

I'm calling this "The Eye".. How creative, right.

I think ill title my post that! o.o
Yes, i title my post after i write. Problem anyone? No? Good.

My Day Out.

How long has it been since i first got here? I really dunno. Well, i've come on here a couple of times in just this past week alone.. written a line.. stared at the screen till no end, logged out and continued with life.

I don't know what to write about, i don't know if i feel like writing too. My days are getting better.. but life is still being a scramble. Between looking up colleges, different options of study, applying for jobs and checking out companies.. I'm surprisingly having quite a lot, okay maybe not lot.. but I'm having fun.

Okay, for those of you who remember i live in Hyderabad.. we have this huge big industrial every January that i used to go to ever since i was a kid. It was like a tradition in my family. So this year, out of the blue i decided i needed to do it, and i did. And was it as fun as it usually is? HELL YES.

[An amazing photographer friend let me use these beautiful pictures that were clicked that day. Are they the coolest or WHAT?]

I went with some really good friends..  the first we do when we enter after the regular security check, and me mumbling about how meaningless it is, is buy popcorn and walk around and just take everything in. Four odd years didn't change a thing.

                                       [That's kinda how i looked, feeling all pleased with myself]

and then, the walked continued with occasional halts to point and laugh at someone or something or it just ended in one of us buying something totally random.

And then we spotted this,

and just had to buy it even though i was pretty full alreadyy.. so we did and i was supposed to wait till we find a found a good spot to click, but i didn't, so i don't have a picture with cotton candy now :(

Sooo we kept walking till we arrived at the one place i was searching for right from the moment i entered.

okay, so the picture might be a slight over exaggeration.. But it was insane fun.. we first went on the Giant wheel, they call it that for all the right reasons.. after i had done screaming and begging everyone to stop it,  as i waked out i thought the worse is over..

But for some weird reason i was wrong. I used my two legs to go to this..

and buy tickets for thiss..

And i still cant decide if it was the best or worst part, okay fine, who am i kidding, IT WAS SOOO MUCH FUN!!.. This picture doesn't even come close. It was insane, the rush was something else. Honestly? 90% of the time i was on it, i was thinking its too early to die, im like not even married yet  i haven't eaten frogs yet or something. I was screaming the whole time it was mostly "OH MY GOD" in different tones and pitches.. and a few other things I'm hoping no one else heard.

well, i came back home with an amazing pair of shoes and a bag full of memories. It was my day out, something i needed and it was all and more i expected it to be.

[DISCLAIMER: I do not claim ownership to pictures 2,3,4,6. They belong to their rightful owners and are used only as a representation here.]