Wanderlust!

I'm having a serious case of wanderlust, people! I want to need to travel! Its been soo long, the itch is just getting worse and making me so restless.

I keep thinking of the places i wanna go to, the sights i wanna see, the things i wanna experience, the people i can meet, the foooood ill get to eat. Its hopeless ya'll!

' To friends of yesterday, today and tomorrow.

For those of you who haven't heard today is International Friendship day. I have always struggled to define that word, its just impossible to give it a meaning and confine it to that. A famous quote goes 'Friends are the family you get to choose" as corny and cliche that sounds that's the only thing i can think of that comes close.

Its beyond just hanging out and eating at a new place every other week, Its wayy more.
Its a blessing to have friends. I can proudly acknowledge the fact that i won't be a major part of who i am today if it had not been for my friends.

As we move on with our lives and careers, we sometimes also move on from certain friendships, but that doesn't always change the role they once played in your life.

I have all kinds of friends, the ones we are close with for as long as we can remember.. i have people i have been friends with since i was like 3.. and our relationships have only evolved and gotten more awesome'r over the years. And then there are the school friends,, you can never get over them can you? I'm not in touch with all of them, but when ever i do meet up like even if its once a year, we just take it from where we left off. The gap is never felt. Is it like that with everyone out there? I don't know, but i love how beautiful it is.

And then there are people you just met and you become soul mates in a week. The similarity or disparity whatever facilitates the relationship is so crazy? (<- Read that again slowly). You just meet them and hit it off right from the first time and your soon inseparable.

Then there are others you are close to, lose contact for like 3 or 4 years in between and get together again. I have a few friends like that too. Its insane.. we spent so much time just catching up on the lost years.

And then there are others who randomly bump into us every once in a while.. We were never close to them and probably never will be too.. But they are still quite cherished.

I could go on like this forever. Sometimes my friends have come through for me the moments i have least expected them to. And there are also time i have been let down and really hurt by friends.. but i guess that just adds to the beauty of the whole relationship.

In my big move from college to the corporate world one of the things i missed most were my friends.. but things have been amazing ever since i stopped acting like the newbie to whom people need to come talk to and walked up to talk to people on my own.

So this is a post to all those people i have called a friend over the very many years through school, college and other phases. I would give you a all a hug if i could.

This is also to the friends I'm gonna make in the future. Because i strongly believe you never stop needing friends.

Thank you and I love you all and oh yes before i start babbling again, a very happy friendship day.

Ps: The title of this post is so lame. But honestly, i have a block and can't think of anything else.

'To life in all its real glory :)

Hello Blog world!

I've been MIA and it was quite intentional. I'm going through like a weird phase in life.. Its been a mixture of high's and lows. Lets start with the high's, shall we?

I got my first job. Its the second interview i sat for and after like a long wait, with the whole process sprawled  over like a month i finally got it :D
Its a job in my line of interest and study and oh so exciting! I start end of this month, on the 30th of june.. and i'm super excited, i can't wait to get started!

In the meanwhile my boat's been tossing and turning in this journey called life.. I seem to be stuck in a storm that's refusing to pass. There were moments my boat almost toppled, there were also moments i thought the storm has almost passed.. But here i am back at the heart of it.

The emotions and feelings are overwhelming! I feel so weak and vulnerable at the same time strong and determined. I wanna build walls and not let anyone in, yet i'm waiting for that one person to forcefully make their way in and break my walls. I wanna stop believing in a lot of things, at the same time i want someone who gives me no choice but believe.

Is this even normal? Is this how growing up is gonna feel? i don't know. But nobody can really give you answers to these questions.. i don't think people even understand exactly. The answers lie within and nobody gets you like you do. Its a crazy crazy complicated life :)

I just wanna stop feeling so restless and i don't know..

In the midst of all this, i had a tiny vacation to this beautiful place called coorg.

Here are a few grainy pictures i clicked!

It was such e refreshing break from the hustle and bustle of my city life!

Have a grand week ya'll :)

To each, his own.

I don't really feel like writing today, so i'm just gonna go ahead and upload a butt load of pictures to show you all i have been upto! Go ahead and draw your own conclusions from it..

A picture can sometimes say wayy more than words can. :)

A girl i know - Her side of the story.

I was once this girl who thought she was strong, didn't need anyone and lived in a small bubble. I was like a frog in the well, my world was the people around me, and i was content with the little i had in life.

I never wanted to get married, and i went around telling people i'm gonna live rich and live alone.

And then came the twist in the plot. He walked in, made me fight for everything i believed showed me a glimpse of how much more i could have and i fell in love.

The same girl who was content, knew what she could get, she wanted more. She wanted to get married someday, make babies.. Build a house and maybe even give up her career for her family.

I was now the girl that built castles in air. From the wedding dress, to the kinda house (down to the detail of number of rooms) the guests to be invited, everything was planned.

Then, this guy i now considered "mine" helped another girl get a glimpse of what she should have  just like he did with me. And guess what? She fell for him too (No surprise there. HE'S HOT!)

The only difference this time was he didn't want to reject this girl right away, because she was beautiful both inside and out. He said she deserved better, and there was no way i could not disagree with that.

But it hurt, to hear him talk of pleasing another girl. To hear him think and consider her pierced my heart. First it was overwhelming sadness, then frustration, and then anger and finally self destruction. I tore down all the dreams i built.

I passed every fantasy, every dream through a shredder. I was in that mode till there was nothing left to lose. It was satisfying and painful both at once. Most of all it was cruel to him. Because he built all those castles with me too.

I sometimes honestly wish i had a normal guy and a normal relationship, but then in the same breath i am fully aware that i would have ever fallen in love with him if he was "normal". And i would never trade "being in love" for anything.

So right now he's forgiven me for going into self destruct and almost destroying us, but he's not forgotten it.

We still have a lot of healing to do. We are not who we used to be, and it scares me, because now what we have anybody can have. What we had then, was magical. The other woman in love with him is still around, its just there. We are not tossing and poking that boat anywhere around for now.

He knows i love him. Both he and i both know she likes him more than a friend still too. Everything is out on the table, no under currents, no hidden feelings.

Isn't the truth supposed to make things easier? From when the truth about her feelings was out, its only been a downhill.

I have a knot in my throat as i type this, and its threatening to spill out through my eyes. I wish there was a solution to this. A solution where no one got hurt. But we haven't gotten that smart yet.

Young love.. Can't live with it, can't live without.

Love,
Lonfused girl.

I'M A WOMAN.

Life is a full circle they say.
So you don't really know if its the end,
Or your just penned.

Both feel the same,
Feels like someone is playing a game.

The highs and then the lows,
Carefully raining down blow by blow.

Your hurt
And left feeling like dirt.

That pervert.
His hands up my shirt..

And down trickle my unnoticed tears,
With it comes true, my worse fears.

But im a woman, we take pride in ourselves.
A pervert can't make me hate myself.

In every woman there is a "man"
Chinese, Indian or Bhutan.

The choice is limited,
The mindset? Narrow and primitive.

Be the victim or proud survivor,
Its time we stopped being back seat drivers.

The mind, it gets this. But the heart?

Its cold and blue,
Foolishly waiting for someone to break through.

Waiting for a smile or hug,
And taking it in, like its a addictive drug.

Anybody else feel lazy today?

Yday was hectic! After another draining day, esp mentally.. i come home and crash early, with no intention of waking up anywhere before 9.

So, today Tuesday i have a day off from college because they are celebrating something or whatever. So i open my eyes and its 7:50 am.. not wanting to be so harsh on myself, i roll over and go back to sleep only to be woken up a good two hours later with my phone blaring ridiculously near my ear! Before i could grope around and try finding it with one eye open, it stops.. so i give up turn the other way round and go back to sleep.. then i get up 15 mins later, find my evasive phone.. set an alarm for 11 am (I gave myself 13 mins, to be exact) and fall back asleep.. after two times of snoozing and cursing my phone a numerous times.. i wake up and drag my feet toward the bathroom.. only to be distracted by what my sister was watching!

So i realize she's watching castle, so i forget all my morning duties and sit there.. we watch three episodes (approximately 3 very short hours) i had to fight and bribe for her to pause twice, once for my bathroom break and then for my foooooood.. which was basicallyy a huge packet of mad angles and packet of oreos.

All that done, i realize the noises i hear are from my stomach and make myself a humongous bowl of noodles. and once i'm done eating i go to my balcony and watch this beautiful sudden downpour of rain, talk in high pitch, do a happy dance, argue about the origin of rainbows..

and when i finally had enough off all the childish talk, i open my laptop to give a project im working on, my much needed attention, and guess WHAT! I feel this crazy intense need to check out the clothes worn by EVERYONE at the Oscars.. so for the next hour or so, i proceeded to check every picture that was clicked on that day and every article written about everyone possible. Once i was done, i logged in here, read a few random posts and felt the need to type everything down about my utterly wasted unproductive day.

Though i prefer to call it a break i much needed  wanted :)

Is it just me or does everyone have days like this in the middle of real hectic week? :)

Okay, gotta go start studying before anything else catches my eye!

Until next time :)

Hug one, Hug all.

For someone who loves hugs, this is just another reason to keep hugging :D

Who doesn't want a boost to their immune system, now :)

Never stop dreaming.

Today marks a year since the gruesome tragedy from Delhi that left us all numb.
But the anger still remains. My blood still boils when think of this past year and the zero progress we've made. The silly controversies that were fought and dirty linen washed in public while the people of my Nation just waited. 
When will the safety of women be taken seriously? When can i walk out wearing what i want and when i want and comeback safe?

When is a question i can never answer, and i doubt anyone can.
But i still have hope. I still dream of the day women are respected and treated with the same respect. I dream of safer night and caring men.

And i shall i keep dreaming. I dream of justice and a system that delivers it.
This post is to all those dreams that we are gonna one day see fulfilled.
#Neverstopdreaming.

Two months and counting :)

Tomorrow marks two months of me getting a blog and starting off. And its been an absolute pleasure since then. Honestly i never thought ill last this long! But the page views and the occasional comments made me keep coming back, more than anything else this place was supposed to be a release its been that and much more! Its become something i look forward to every day :]

I thought what better time to make this little blog more "me" than now?!

So my name will still be a mystery. But here is more! I turned 20 this month, so i am no more the teen i was.. I'm Indian and live in a gorgeous city - Hyderabad. Numbers are my thing! I'm at a point in career where im keeping all my options open, another few months and ill know for sure which way im heading :D

I love coffee and I've  baked only once in my life. Chocolates and hugs work wonders for me and can turn any day around. i use ! a lot. My friends are a very important part of me. I'm not a introvert but im not someone who will come up and start a conversation, unless its just the two of us in a room and the silence gets wayy too awkward! But i talk to anyone and everyone who comes up and talks. I have loooots of friends but a chosen few are the ones that actually know me well.

This below is subject to change any min, right now my mood feels this :P

LOVING: chocolates, writing, talking, the weather

HATING: fights, angry people

WATCHING: Castle

WANTING: colder nights, a book charm bracelet (Found it yday, but it doesn't ship to where i live :[ )

PLANNING: For a upcoming project in coll, the weekend.

FEELING: Comfy, warm. a little sick [Have a runny nose]

LEARNING: independence, to think differently

WISHING; My winter break gets here faaastteerr.

NEEDING: A new diary [Have been postponing getting one for wayy too long!]


Well, thats all for noww.. You'll see more of me in every post i write!
keep reading.

I would love to hear what you think :)